The Cone
It was the first day of school for her twin, nine-year-old girls and their mom wanted to celebrate. After school, she took the girls to an elaborate ice cream shop that offered all kinds of special ice cream combinations, toppings and flavors. She wanted to give her twins a special experience, so she told them, “You can have whatever you want”. After looking over the entire menu of ice cream offerings, they both decided on a simple waffle cone with one scoop of plain chocolate ice cream on it. As hard as she tried to get them to order something more “special,” they stuck with their choice. Later she said, “I had in my mind this wonderful experience of the girls ordering these huge ice cream extravaganzas, but at the end of the day, all they wanted was a simple cone.”
What a great reminder for us that just because we have a vision or opportunity for someone, doesn’t mean that it fits their desire or taste. Through the years I have had to learn this valuable lesson. Because I tend to look toward the future and what could happen, I used to assume that those I care about in my personal life or those I lead in a professional role wanted the same things that I did for them.
That was a mistake, and it often led to difficulties in my relationships. Trying to push our dreams, visions, or desires on others is not leadership — it is manipulation. Allowing others to develop their own vision (that may or may not align with yours) is what servant leadership is all about.
This wise mom realized that the “Ice Cream Extravaganza” experience in her mind did not match the reality of what her children wanted - a simple chocolate cone. She allowed their after-school celebration to be about them and not about her.
Take the time to discover the vision and desires of those in your life. Be like this mom and allow them to share their own thoughts and dreams.
Put the needs of others before your own, and you will make a difference.
Larry
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