Performing vs. Responding in Relationships
We tend to size people up based on their wins or accomplishments. But if you really want to understand someone, don’t just watch them when things are going right; watch how they respond when things get hard. That’s when character is revealed.
Hard seasons expose how someone handles disappointment, anger, accountability, loss, or unmet expectations. Anyone can look impressive when the road is smooth, but trust is built by watching how someone navigates the valleys, the obstacles, and the long stretches where there’s no clear path or easy answer.
If you’re trying to discern whether someone is safe to build a relationship with, here are three things worth paying attention to when they’re in the pressure cooker:
How they talk: Do they speak with clarity, honesty, and humility—or do they respond with blame, criticism, or contempt?
How they treat others: Do they lash out when things go wrong, or do they show kindness and steadiness regardless of the circumstances?
How they take ownership: Do they get defensive and refuse to admit fault, or do they reflect, learn, and grow?
When we shift from being impressed by someone’s success to being informed by how they handle struggle, it will make a difference.
Larry
Check out our latest episode of the RelationShifts Podcast:
Listen on Apple Podcast | Listen on Spotify | Watch on YouTube
