I Am Third

I recently had a conversation with a wise 85-year-old woman who has been married for 65 years. She’s someone I deeply admire and respect. I asked her a simple but weighty question: What’s the secret to having fulfilling relationships?

She didn’t respond with a formula or a checklist. Instead, she shared a story—simple, but powerful.

She told me about a father who made a small plaque for his son as he left for college. The plaque read, “I am third.” The father explained it was a daily reminder:

Your faith comes first. Others come second. You come third.

If you keep those priorities in that order, he told his son, you’ll live a fulfilling life.

There’s profound wisdom in that phrase. So many of our relational struggles stem from placing ourselves first. We make it about our needs, our preferences, our rights. But when we shift from making ourselves the most important thing to intentionally placing ourselves third, something changes.

We listen more.
We love more freely.
We create space for humility, grace, and growth.

That wise woman who shared the story with me? She just happens to be my mother-in-law. And after watching her live it out for decades, I can say with confidence — it’s not just good advice. It’s a proven way of life.

Thanks, Mom. You’ve certainly made a difference.

Larry

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