Disagree Without Being Disagreeable
What do you do when you consistently disagree with someone who’s important to you?
The easy answer is to separate or distance yourself from that person. But more often than not, that response is a fast track to a broken relationship. In today’s world, taking sides and cutting ties over disagreements has become common, but walking away from someone we care about often leaves both people confused, frustrated, and misunderstood.
Excluding abusive situations (where separation is essential), if the relationship matters, then it’s worth investing time and energy into pursuing a better path. That starts by making a few small-but-powerful shifts in how we engage with those we disagree with or don’t understand.
First, it begins with you, not the person on the other side of the argument. Instead of jumping in with your opinion, start with questions. Become great at asking questions, and keep asking them until the other person knows you’ve fully heard their side of the disagreement. Get curious about the “why” behind their perspective.
Then, shift your goal. Don’t aim to win the argument… aim to create space for both perspectives. Once you’ve listened and shown understanding, ask, “Can I share my thoughts on the topic?”
And finally, remember it’s okay to agree to disagree. You can disagree without being disagreeable.
When you realize that your relationships are more important than the issue at hand, you will make a difference.
—Larry
Check out our latest episode of the RelationShifts Podcast:
Listen on Apple Podcast | Listen on Spotify | Watch on YouTube
