Bring it back.
He came up behind me in the big box store parking lot and began asking for money. It was a familiar story of needing gas for his car which was nowhere in sight. He had his pitch down and was very good at persisting even as I was loading my vehicle.
Honestly, I just wanted him to go away. Then I thought about offering to meet him at the gas station (which I knew he was not able to do) and then assess his gas needs. I settled on giving him a few bucks which he accepted and went on his way.
All of us have had the opportunity to give money to someone who appears to be in need. What has caused me to pause is how I initially responded. First, I wanted to ignore him and then I wanted to justify his need by going to the gas station. We all know that many of the stories that are told to solicit money are not true. But, was it my duty to check his facts? Why would I feel the need to do that? He didn’t ask for accountability. He was not interested in my judgment or even my morals. He was simply asking for a few bucks.
Upon reflection, I realized that I was trying to own something that wasn’t mine to own. The only decision I had to make was whether or not to give him money—nothing more. This made me ponder, “How many times do I try to own things that I should not own?”
A good way to damage our relationship with those we care about is to assume that we need to impose our thoughts, opinions or actions on them. Conversely, when we allow ourselves to focus on the things we need to own in our own lives, we give space for healthy relationships to grow and flourish.
I don’t have a clue what this gentleman did with the few bucks I gave him and that is okay. I am only responsible for my actions.
When we choose to allow others to own their own stuff we will make a difference.
Larry
Check out our latest episode on the Crossing the Line Podcast:
2023 Wrap-Up: It's Time To Reflect
